Jokes, Pet Photos, Discussion, and other stuff.
This animation uses an Inverse Kinematics solver (bones) to solve the movements of the various parts. The parts are: 1. Piston, 2. Connecting rod, 3. Crankshaft.
Because the parts are all connected via a bones system, rotating the crankshaft moves all the other parts.
I hope that your stomach is up to the task.
Sorry that I haven't been around to your blogs, but times are rough at the moment, and I just can't seem to get the time that I need to speak to you all as much as I'd like to.
This joke was sent to me by a friend of mine that resides in a residential area reasonably close to mine. He lost his wife to the big C a few years ago and we've kept in touch, thanks to email.
This joke relates well to both my wife and myself who have had similar experiences with elderly people in the nursing homes that we both work in.
I have a few stories to tell about some of our more notable elderly people that we look after - especially a young lady at the age of - believe it not - 109 (110 in August) who's name I cannot mention due to privacy matters, who manage to have an outstanding sense of humour even at that age and deserve every accolade that we can bestow.
Anyway, here's the joke:
A tour bus driver is driving with a bus load of seniors down a highway when he is tapped on his shoulder by a little old lady. She offers him a handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts. The timing is just right, and he looks forwrd to a rest stop where he can get something to drink.
She repeats this gesture about five more times. When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks the sweet old lady, "Why don't you eat the peanuts yourself?". She answers, "We can't chew them be cause we've no teeth".
The puzzled driver asks, "Why do you buy them then?" The old lady replied, "We just love the chocolate coating, but it's such a waste to just throw away the peanuts - isn't it?"
Terry
Hmmm, maybe I should have drawn a coffee pot instead of a teapot!! Anyway, perhaps you prefer your appliances to be shiny white, so try this one on.....
After a bit of my usual fiddling with this and that, I came up with this 3d rendering of a teapot sitting on a table and reflected in 2 mirrors. This was created in Autodesk 3dsMax.
The interesting thing about it is what the mirrors show. Normally, a mirror in 3dsMax does not reflect its own of other mirror's image. So you don't get the effect of seeing in one mirror, what is reflected in another mirror.
This animation uses a special technique explained in a tutorial by Sushant Sudame on http://www.3dtotal.com/ww.3dtotal.com/ and uses a unique ray-tracing material for the mirror surfaces.
Here's the same scene with the mirrors rearranged so that they are facing one another.
Computer Diagnosis:
One day Bill complained to his friend that his elbow really hurt. His friend suggested that he go to a computer at the drug store that can diagnose anything quicker and cheaper than a doctor.
''Simply put in a sample of your urine and the computer will diagnose your problem and tell you what you can do about it. It only costs $10."
Bill figured he had nothing to lose, so he filled a jar with a urine sample and went to the drug store. Finding the computer, he poured in the sample and deposited the $10. The computer started making some noise and various lights started flashing. After a brief pause out popped a small slip of paper on which was printed: "You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water. Avoid heavy lifting. It will be better in two weeks."
Later that evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was and how it would change medical science forever, he began to wonder if this machine could be fooled. He mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and daughter. To top it off, he masturbated into the concoction.
He went back to the drug store, located the machine, poured in the sample and deposited the $10.
The computer again made the usual noise and printed out the following message:
"Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. Your dog has worms. Get him vitamins. Your daughter is using cocaine. Put her in a rehabilitation clinic. Your wife is pregnant with twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off, your tennis elbow will never get better."
Awww
Practicing his balancing act!
'Don't even ask!!!'
Bird Almanac?
'
'Sheesh!
'What canary?'
'I've heard it before - but it still cracks me up!'
Disney couldn't do any better than this!
Hi there. I've only got a few minutes as I'm in the middle of my weekly cleaning and I have to get it done early 'cause I have to go fix someone's gas heater.
Thursday, after getteing home from work, I did a couple of things outside in the back yard. When I came through the sliding doors between the Pagola and the living room I must have tripped over the blasted door rail.
A trip to the hospital by ambulance and three stitches in the scalp was the result. It was just as well the Michael came home on time from work that day and found me on the floor.
Didn't stop me doing 2 shifts at the hospital the following day, and I was able to show everyone my war injury (well... not really a war injure, just the results of bloody stupidity).
I'm surprised that I haven't had any ill effects from it all. I only have a little soreness where the stitches are.
Why females should avoid a girls night out after they are married....
If this does not make you laugh out loud, you have lost your sense of humour.
The other night I was invited out for a night with the 'girls.' I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, 'I promise!'
Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily. Around 3 a.m., a bit loaded, I headed for home.
Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hallway started up and cuckooed 3 times. Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. Even when totally smashed... 3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals = 12 Cuckoos (MIDNIGHT!)
The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, I told him 'MIDNIGHT'... he didn't seem pissed off in the least.
Whew, I got away with that one!
Then he said 'We need a new cuckoo clock.'
When I asked him why, he said, 'Well, last night our clock cuckooed three times, then said 'oh shit.' Cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another three times, giggled, cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.
HOORAY AND WELCOME MOST GROTTY ONE.
You took your time, but the wait has been well worth while judging by your first post!
Up to date, we've been able to keep our blogs fairly non-messy over here on BS, but I guess we can all look forward to doing some necessary clean-ups now that you're here to grot things a bit (LOL).
Welcome, Welcome, Welcome.
Keep on keeping on Grotty one. There's much you can do with your Blogger site. It takes a while to catch on to all the facilities, but there are plenty of people to help you out if your stuck. In some cases Blogger is a bit harder to use that BB for some things, but BS is much more flexible in my opinion. It does take a bit of effort to learn how to do some of the more exotic things, but there is an extensive help system available. For an example of what you are able to do, take a look at Elizabeth's Site to get some ideas.
DOn't get too frustrated about not finding people. They'll find you, and from there, you can follow the links on their sites to other people.
This is simply a test post to see what sort of resolution I can get out of a low-res Quicktime file. The animation was created in After Effects CS3 then rendered to a QT .mov file then uploaded to this post direct.
Blogger then re-encodes the video to mp4 for inclusion in the post.
Hope you all had a good time celebrating Christmas, New Year, and the fact that you are now going to be another year older.
Boy the years fly by as you start to grow hair in and on your ears.
It seems that the 2 things that continue to grow on the human body are the nose, and the ears. Have a look at people around the age of 70. All ears and nose. Now I have the same things in common with them. Heck!
Anyway, Lorna, Michael and I had a few friends down for the traditional BBQ on Boxing Day. Couldn't do it Christamas day 'cause we were both working in a nursing home. We all had a traditional Good Time. Michael and my other son Paul Drank most of the beer - 1-1/2 slabs between the three of us. Michael has now been crowned #1 Dunn Piss Pot.
Last night was New Years Eve, and I abstained except for 2 stubbies. Michael managed to down 14. Once again confirming his title.
If he buggars up my internet conection again this month, I'm a'gonna cut him off at the knees. (that's the only way I could ever reach high enough to pat him GENTLY on the head!!!). He ran me out of download resources, watching bloody u-tube videos last month. That's why I haven't been posting.
All has settled down and I'm enjoying my 4th stubby for the arvo (or is it 5th? Ah well, who's countin' anyways, burp).
All the best to you all. Hope it's a good year for you.
